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Do This ~ Don’t Do That ~ Can’t You Read The Sign!

3 Dec

We have rules in the house, everyone does I’m sure – Ihope.  Ours seem to be a little more basic, I mean, if you can’t follow the basic rules, how are you going to handle anything more complicated?  The problem is, my tweens & teen don’t seem to remember the rules … heck, I don’t even feel like I should have to CALL them “rules”, but Common Sense is apparently something that needs to be TAUGHT in my house.  We let lots of things slide … if you don’t want to fold/hang or at least take your clean laundry out of your basket because you don’t care about wearing wrinkled laundry to school – neither do I.

  • If you’re the one to fill the trash can, empty it.  This one is too complex for my brood I’m afraid.  Everyone seems to be able to argue that it was either not full enough to empty or overfull & someone else should have emptied it before they got there.  It’s magic.
  • If you use the last piece of toilet paper, put on a new roll.  I’m beginning to realize that I may be the most talented person in the house.  Not only do I seem to be the only person in the house who knows how to master this complicated installation, but I can do it with one hand while holding a  baby in the other hand.  I rock.
  • If you use the last piece of bread, pull another loaf from the freezer. The kids pack their own lunches everyday.  They’ve been packing their own lunches for YEARS.  In the past 2 weeks, I’ve had to go to the freezer 4 times to get a loaf of bread out – which is useless to me until it thaws since I need it at that moment.  I learned that BonkerHead went without a sandwich one day last week as opposed to getting a loaf from the freezer (would’ve been fine for him because it can thaw before lunch).
  • Don’t even think about getting a drink of water from the water cooler unless there’s water in the top.  I’m grateful that we’ve raised water drinkers, I’m not grateful that – in the process – we’ve apparently raised inconsiderate slobs that live under the umbrella of “eh, someone else will do it.”  It’s a filter system, it needs to be refilled, who does this? The Water Cooler Fairy, of course!  Duh!
  • Take your [fill in the blank – shoes, backpack, socks, list, shoelace, iPod, dustbunny, brain…] with you when you leave the room.  If it’s yours, you brought it with you & it doesn’t live in this room … take it back!  The living room is already filled with 2.3 tons of baby crap, there’s barely enough room in here for ME, please take your crap with you when you’re no longer going to share this space.  Which closely relates to …
  • When we get out of the car, take your crap with you.  This one irritates me 100 times more than the last & I see the 3rd row so seldom, that by the time I do see it it looks as if someone’s been camping back there for a week.  Sweatshirts, water bottles, fast food cups, SHOES (How in the hell did you manage to get SHOELESS out of the car & I didn’t notice?!?!)
  • Loading the dishwasher includes all the dirty dishes.  Even the pan on the stove or the glass on the island.  *gasp*  God forbid I ask them to rinse the sink of the plate drippings.  I cook dinner every night, I expect everyone else in the house to take turns doing the dishes.  There’s THREE of them to take turns! How can the 10-15 minutes it takes to you do this chore be soooooo bad??
  • When you do laundry, don’t leave your clothes in the dryer.  Ok, so there’s the occasional time that it slips your mind … but the other morning, while I was upstairs feeding the girls & the kids were getting ready for school, I heard the dryer open & close.  Later, when I miraculously found 5 minutes to wash baby laundry, I opened the dryer to find it full of MonkeyFace clothes!  If that weren’t bad enough, it was on Monday morning and she was headed to her dad’s & wouldn’t be back until Wednesday after school!  The evil in me consulted with Hubby to figure out what I could do to her clothes to teach her a lesson.  After many humorous & brilliant ideas, I lamely threw them on the floor – she’s lucky the dog didn’t decide to use them as a bed.
Can't you read the sign

Instead of "Have you lost your friggin' mind??", I opted for "The dryer is NOT to be used as your hamper or drawer."

This may be a post that I have to continuously add to as I remember other rules and create other signs.  So far … the sign has worked – but it hasn’t been that long … give them time.

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